


From the Irises of Kageyama Tobio

by BACHIRAGF



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23281735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BACHIRAGF/pseuds/BACHIRAGF
Summary: Kageyama finds the Somebody he’s been looking for since the day his grandfather died.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 122





	1. Part 1

Kageyama became the enigma that the volleyball world needed. Unknowingly, maybe, yet when his fingertips grazed the ball, he noticed the audience—how the scooted just an inch further in their seats, how they grabbed their armrests in anxious expectancy. That became his drive for success.

A while ago, his drive for success had been his grandfather. Now, when the court’s fate was in his palms, and he could smell the sweat of his teammates, his drive was this. The ultimate serve, the ultimate quick. To play for the greatest players in the world, to play on national TV, to become a renowned player. To play against Hinata.

Hinata and his grandfather had not been much different. They had both been the same when it came to sport—addicts for volleyball like no other—harnessing this ferocious energy when the ball was theirs. Miwa called Kazuyo Kageyama “Tora.” The Tiger. 

“If you get really good, Tobio, I promise you. Somebody even better will come find you.” 

On the court, against the Jackals, this past flooded into his irises at the speed of his spike. 

When he was in Kitagawa Daiichi, Oikawa’s perseverance had been the same as his grandfather’s. In those moments, the brief, fleeting ones between practices when Oikawa would throw him a hard glance, Kageyama thought, _Oh. Oikawa-san is that Player. The one who is better, the one who came to find me._

Then Iwaizumi-san smacked Oikawa on the back and called him forward. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had come hand in hand, as if they were born from the same soul, like two stars revolving around each other. Binary stars, Oikawa called them. Iwa only grunted. 

“Spike the ball, dumbass. We can talk about your aliens later.” 

Maybe Oikawa had been the Somebody Tobio had looked for. But he was not His, and to Tobio, that was clear. 

The last time Tobio visited Grandfather, before he passed, was in the Hospital. The Miyagi summer air that was cut with the silence of the ward seemed to buzz his senses like a hive of wasps. The kind that stung Tobio on his knees one summer, when he was younger. When grandfather was on his feet, digging the ball from the ground. When Miwa still strove for Volleyball. 

This time, Miwa was at home, cooking dinner. Grandfather was in the hospital bed, concealed by the curtain. Attached to a monitor that tracked his heartbeat. 

It made Tobio feel in a way he hadn’t before. 

“I wanted to practice some more.” He said in the quiet. Slowly, Kazuyo turned to look at him. His skin was fading, his veins visible through the waxed paper. When he moved his wrists, they dangled like fragile strings. like a marionette’s limbs. “I never had enough time.” Tobio put his head in his hands. “There’s never enough time. I want to play more. _I want you to stay._ ”

“There are a lot of wants in there, Tobio.” Kazuyo’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. When Tobio looked to his eyes, he could still smell the gym. See the color. Taste the victory. “Be careful with that. Too many wants, you’ll end up only wanting and never having.” 

That smell. Of the court, and the gym, and of Grandfather, was abruptly cut by the stench of the hospital, and Tobio gripped his Grandfather’s hand before he stood. 

The last words his Grandfather ever spoke to Tobio were emblazoned on his palms.

“You are good enough. It is patience that will get you there.”

At Kazuyo Kageyama’s funeral, Tobio did not cry. He broke, bit by bit, as a player, as a person. Maybe it had jumpstarted the spiral into that match, with Kitagawa Daiichi. But when they came home, dinner had never tasted blander, the house had never looked so cold. Miwa had never looked so grim. The Kageyama children were generally non-expressive individuals. If they had looked up, both of them, even once, they would’ve noticed the same twisted, harrowed expression on each other’s faces.

Maybe then, they would’ve cried in each others arms, like they were meant to.

Months later, Kageyama Tobio met Hinata Shouyou on the steps. Hinata Shouyou from the concrete. Hinata Shouyou of the crows. Hinata Shouyou, who could fly. 

Hinata who fit perfectly into that mold that Kazuyo Kageyama had assured Tobio would become his drive. 

If you get good enough, I promise you. 

Kageyama shook Hinata’s hand from under the net. 

“Took you long enough, eh, Kageyama?” 

“Shut up, Hinata.” 

_Somebody even better will come find you._


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and Hinata, the summer after chapter 387.

Summer was always Tobio's favorite season. 

Maybe it was because his window was always open, and the summers he revisited Miyagi were always cut with a soothing, serene silence. The smell of rain and the chirp of cicadas were a calling--one that he always answered to. Tobio's room from high school was much smaller than he remembered--his bed was tidy, tucked into a corner under his window, posters of volleyball players plastered on his beige walls, and a shelf that was empty save for his oldest volleyball. He'd kept it there for memories he could vividly replay. 

Hanging in the far reaches of his closet was his Karasuno jersey. 

_I will keep bringing the ball to you. Just trust me and jump._

Summer was always the same. Save for this summer, because this summer, he had brought along Hinata Shouyou, and there was nothing else he regretted more. 

"Your house is so empty! Y'know at home, Natsu and Ma still live there, so whenever I visit it's _super_ loud."

Hinata fell backwards, lying spread-eagled on Tobio's crisp covers. His hair, still a stark bright orange, fanned out against the sheets like a halo. He was bright, too bright. Like staring at the sun until your eyes started to burn, and you were seeing spots when you looked away. Kageyama had always felt that way, since he met Hinata in middle school. As if he was staring too long, as if his eyes were hooked onto him and he could not look away. 

It was wrong. Whatever Miwa said was _wrong_. 

_You like Hinata, don't you?_

Hinata was his morning glory. Tobio was fine with being the weeds in the garden if it meant Hinata got to grow, to flourish. Tobio always caught up to him, eventually. Their entire rivalry had been a battle--who ran first, who laughed first, who cried first, who collapsed into a tired heap first--they had shared that competitive mentality for so long it had become a part of their personalities; always striving for success. So why did Tobio feel as if Hinata had won? When they had never been competing at all?

"Yeah well, I don't have any family in Miyagi anymore." He replied. Odd. His cheeks felt slightly warm. He pressed his palms to his cheeks to cool them. "Anyway, c'mon. I'll bring out the futon, and then we can go outside and play." 

Hinata gasped. "Just like old times!" 

"Yeah." Kageyama felt his heart swell. His throat clench. "Just like old times." 

Playing volleyball with Hinata was like breathing. Kageyama had long ago understood what Kazuyo had meant--Hinata was that Someone, that person, the one meant to rival Tobio. Hinata was the one there so Tobio could _keep on playing._ Hinata was there for Tobio to set to, and he was there to stay. 

And if it became harder to control that growing weight in his stomach, the increasing anxiety when he breached a thought that wasn't just _friends_ , Kageyama would stay. Because nothing else in the world mattered if Hinata wasn't His. It was okay if he never put a label on it. It was okay, because he didn't have to. Hinata was just His, and that was all he would call it.

\--  
On their fourth day in Miyagi, Tobio internally passed away.

"Kageyama," Hinata called, and Tobio was pushed out of his thoughts and into reality. "Did you know I met Oikawa-san, in Brazil?"

Kageyama's throat went dry. They were both lying on the grass, staring at the clouds in the dark sky pass like rabbits in a field.

_You're always running from what you want Tobio. That's why you never get it._

Miwa always had a way of getting to him, even now, years after they had had the argument. 

"Yeah?" He croaked. He rubbed his palms together and drummed his fingers against his knee. _Not good. Not good, not good._

_Tobio-chan, you love that little shit don't you?_

Oikawa was always a looming regret. Always. Even after Kageyama had defeated him, Oikawa always came back. Even after Oikawa had humiliated him enough, he came back for more. As if Tobio _had_ to be stomped down under the sole of his boots like a bug. 

(In Oikawa's case, this was obviously not true. But he did very much enjoy torturing Kageyama to the brink of insanity.)

Yet Kageyama had seen the way that he had gazed at Iwa-san, how he had struggled with the same thing that Kageyama was struggling with now. And ultimately, how he had never confessed, how he had stayed silent. Kageyama saw how it ruined Oikawa. Oikawa was an emotion-driven maniac; he strove to put away the same emotions that made him work harder and harder until he broke. Kageyama wondered if he had even changed, in all the years that had passed by. He wondered if he still felt the same for Iwa-san. 

He briefly wondered if Iwa-san felt the same.

"Yep, yep! He was super creepy y'know, in that way he usually is where he uses his psychic abilities and knows everything about you. Super scary. He even laughed at me for losing my wallet! Asshole." Hinata grumbled. "Anyway, did you know he taught me all this cool stuff about volleyball? He was like, _Chibi-chan, you have to be strong and resilient!_ and I was like _of course, your Majesty,_ because he's the Grand King and all." 

He took a deep breath, and his smile slightly dimmed into a more serious one. "Ya know. He said to keep you company. Because he said that you's been lonely for a very long time, and that you had finally found something. Something you'd been looking for. Oikawa-san said that about you. _Pfft._ You've got so many fans now, I bet you're not as lonely anymore."

"You'd be surprised." Kageyama said. "I don't exactly know how to--."

"Why would Oikawa-san say that to _me_ , Kageyama?"

If there was any way to make his stomach drop even lower than it had, it was this. Why did Oikawa ask Hinata? Why Hinata? Why not Miwa, or Suga-san, or even Yamaguchi, who had become Kageyama's therapist? Oikawa knew these things about people. Why had it come to this?

"Maybe because you were the only one around?"

"No, I think it's something more." Hinata said, and suddenly he was on his elbows facing kageyama, and his eyes (those eyes) reflected Kageyama's terrified expression. "There's something you're not telling me. That Oikawa-san wanted me to know."

Tobio stayed silent. Terrified, but silent.

His heart was in his throat. If he didn't run right now, he'd throw up all over the grass. It felt like the entire sky was suffocating him, as if all he could see was blue, blue, blue.

_Fuck you, Oikawa Tooru. Fuck you._

'Kageyama." 

Hinata was laying face up again. "I like you."

Silence. Maybe the crack of Tobio's jaw dropping. Maybe his silent panic.

"I just do. I like the way it feels when we're on court together. That rush, when the wind blows my hair and I want to fly? It only comes with _you_. I love volleyball. But I love you, too. It's my drive."

Hinata stood up, and brushed the wet grass off of his elbows. Kageyama felt his mouth twitch. His entire back was covered in mud and grass, and yet there were still more pressing matters. One of these matters was that Hinata, _stupid, brainless Hinata_ , had beat him to a confession.

_Too many wants, and you'll never end up having. Be careful with that, Tobio._

"Wait, Hinata--wait one second. Wait."

_There's never enough time. I want you to stay._

Hinata laughed. "I'm not going anywhere."

_One more point._

"I like you too."

_You are good enough. You just need patience to get you there._

**Author's Note:**

> haha shameless twt plug @/DI0JUICE


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